


Rusted

by IPutOnMyHeadphonesWalking



Series: Rusted [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahhhhhhhh, Angst, Maybe it will turn into a series, R&R, Tag, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, What am I doing, i can’t stop, i need a tan anyway, i should have put that in the notes, ill get tan next the fires of hell, im going to hell, im not sorry, im pasty as heck, maybe if enough people review, more tags, ny way this is just a really angsty thing that I wrote, oh well, pleasr, thats fine, this tag button is cool, what is happening, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 14:40:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18573544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IPutOnMyHeadphonesWalking/pseuds/IPutOnMyHeadphonesWalking
Summary: He Tony Stark. He’s Iron Man.He’s just a little rusted.





	Rusted

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hopeless_hope](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeless_hope/gifts).



I awoke last night in a fit of panic, unable to control my breathing as I twisted in my bedsheets, skin shining with cold sweat. Jarvis was asking me things, though I couldn't hear him over the roar in my ears. It still felt as though I was falling through the air, trapped in an inoperative suit. I could still feel the nuke in my hands, the coldness of space around me. I could still see the 'call-failed' notification flashing in front of me. I could still feel the hopelessness as I felt I was going to die.

———

I flew the other day. Flew away from the lake I had fallen into mid-battle. The stupid giant glob we were trying to detain had grabbed the Iron Man suit and tossed it into the nearby lake. Usually, no water would have gotten through, though it had taken many hits causing water to pour in through the mask. I quickly flew out of the lake, not caring how ungraceful I looked. I had to listen to Jarvis as he advised me to calm down, my fright causing me to become reckless in battle. I tried but failed to remember that there were no hands pushing me under.

———

I punched a man when he bumped into me, his hands sliding over my arc reactor. For a moment I thought I felt his hands grab and tug at it. For a moment he looked like Obadiah. I was convinced he had come to steal from me, and I couldn't let that happen. I stumbled back, fist flying straight for his jaw. At some point, I tripped and fell backward, eyes blank with fear. The man just stood there for a moment clutching his face. After assessing the situation and realizing what happened, I apologized to the man and slipped him a $50 whilst staggering away.

———

I ran away from a battle, frantic in my escapes to get away. I ducked behind a building, feeling horribly bare without any protection. The Iron Man suit had been destroyed, leaving me defenseless. I had fallen to the ground (luckily only about 15 feet) to be immediately surrounded by the alien-cow-looking things that were whipped up in some lab. I scrambled back, not knowing what to do. Cap then started yelling at me to run, to get away as fast as possible. Because in battle, I am 'nothing without the suit.'

———

I yelled at Jarvis to turn the lights back on as I ran through the hall. Some idiot had cut the power supply to the tower, leaving my arc reactor as the only light as I stumbled. I yelled for anybody as I clawed my way through the hallways, frantically trying to push the thoughts of the cave and outer space from my mind. I sat down after a good ten minutes of getting nowhere, pushing my head between my knees, trying to gather air. Because yes, I, genius playboy and philanthropist, am afraid of the dark.

———

I threw a glass at the wall, unable to handle my drunken self as Howard's voice filled my head. He told me of how much of a failure I was. How I wasn't strong enough. How I never would be. I thought it was nothing a couple of drinks couldn't fix. Too bad the alcohol seemed to only make him louder, more persistent. Kind of how it worked when he was alive.

———

I hugged Clint close as he steadily bled out on the pavement. He had been shot by one of the men they had teamed up to capture. I had quickly shot the man with a repulser, not caring that he was probably now dead. Clint had only been shot in the shoulder, but it was enough to send me into a state of panic. For when he was shot, I did not see Clint, I instead saw Yinsen, peppered with bullet holes. I was muttering nonsense as I held him to my chest. Jarvis hadn't even asked me what to do, alerting a medical team to come as soon as possible. When they arrived, they had to pry me away from him. I had calmed down after a while, purposefully giving off a 'don't you dare talk to me' kind of demeanor. Clint hadn't said anything to me, opting to give me a sympathetic pat on the back when he was okay.

———

I sat on the bathroom floor, back to and head resting on the door. Tears spilled from my eyes for no reason whatsoever. I had fallen into a state of panic when Steve had said something about Afghanistan. I had immediately lost breath and stumbled from the room, feeling as though I was going to throw up. Memories washed over me as I had multiple flashbacks. I was no longer in the bathroom. I was in that goddamn cave again. The car battery was back in my chest. I kept being pushed under water, the memory amplified by the tears running down my face. At that moment, I wanted to die. I just wanted this fear to end. I wanted to sleep with no nightmares. Why couldn't I be done?

———

I am Tony Stark. I have not eaten in three days. I haven't slept in six. I still don't tell the rest of the team about my problems.

I am Iron Man.

I’m just a little rusted.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m proud of this. If there is anything I shouldn’t be proud of in this fic, please tell me down below. Please please review and I hope you guys have a wonderful day.
> 
> I dedicate this fic to hopeless_hope, who with her fics inspired me to start writing. I have wanted to start for a while now, but her fics spurred me to get on with it. Before you read anything else, please go read some of her stuff. It is unrivaled and different. Best fics I have ever read. Thank you to hope, who gave me light when I thought I would never find it again.
> 
> On another note, I’m thinking of turning each of these drabbles into their own chapters. I might do it, I don’t know. Depends. Tell me if you want me to continue, I’m kind of on the fence about. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
